disturbia

a lot of us have been through a certain frenzy for at least once in our lives. and in one way or another had a share of what i'd call a slow loss of self-control and a little emotional overload. but no matter what you call it, still it all falls down to one category of a problem.

admittedly, mine is not quite the type of disturbia that turns the paranoia switch on or even a whole country to a whole hysteria [like what is happening now]. But in some ways, its still a burden thats too much to bear for some one who has been living the summer life in the comfort of an internet connection, a solid roof to keep her in the shade and a low profile that has kept her with the tag 'unsocialized'. And so, the small tinge of attention that was abruptly poured on her turned her whole eutopia into some labyrinth of wonder. Wonder of reasons why some unknown person in a social network is stealing your face and forging your identity. What a roller coaster ride it has been and yet i landed back to where i flew from-- no idea of who the haux is. But........... anyway. i guess he or she is just some ill-striken person who has been imprisoned in the dark palms of boredom. or perhaps some evil claw of jealousy. or perhaps some wrecked cage of torn emotion.


well.. so much for that. and so much for the dark side of technology. because having a red-handed poser who is suspected as an enemy or admirer is the least of my problems. Because dealing with one faker is no match to the virus that hits us all.

Say hello to the common cold. Where congestion of nasal passages is required and a good night sleep is not an option.

True enough, i have to breath through my mouth and feel like i lost a nose and a life. I had to eat without my taste buds functioning, take in medicine which made my mouth fall into complete loss of palatability, sleep without comfort and talk in a way where no one understands a word i say. And worse, i had to get semi-deaf due to insistent sneezing that had large amounts of force through my fragile tubes.

and i guess all that is more than enough to declare a state of emergency. or perhaps a code red. but i don't think anyone is right for the job to save me. not one besides myself.

fiesta. people. and more people.

i admit. im not really the type you'd see out there. talking to guests. making her way through a congested crowd.

bottom line is.. i dont really think im the one who plays well with people.

but i dont know why this year it turned out quite different.. and its like i slightly enjoyed being smothered in other people's company.

but usually.. i DO enjoy being with other people. except that . my enjoyment. depends on the people im with.

and in one way or another.. the least i could imagine myself hanging with were the ones i found most . worth my time.


fiesta really made me see a dozen of things. things that were beyond the food. the feast. the karaoke on play. the streamers. the color. the band.

more to that.. i saw good times. some dose of friendship and hospitality. which for me may seem over rated but somehow i got myself through it..

it made me embrace my religion more. and perhaps. made me see the families of my friends which in truth were'nt really any different than mine.

but the best about it was that it made me realize i never should just be alone. and that. i was creating my own forcefield of 'do not disturb' for no apparent reason. at all.

like an alien discovering earth.. it made me see i needed to belong in this planet. coz i did. and that being with people is quite so much better . than be some place else all alone.

but still. i think i'd still need some 'me' time though. despite the realization.