sO much for wHite hOrsEs. .

actually.. it just came to me.. how i got. practically addicted to the song.. white horse. and i don't know why.. in fact.. due to the urging demand of some part of me.. i even learned how to play it on the guitar. the keyboard. and on my voice box.. but ironically.. i don't even feel or relate my life to any single word of the song.. NOT AT ALL.

but then im like a parrot.. repeating and repeating.. all the same words of the same song. all day long..

perhaps its just oen of those songs they say that you just cant get out of your head. but i dont know.. somehow it feels different..


and so it came to me when i woke up this morning.

i was in a dream then. that was my song. before i came into this present relationship.

coz you know what.. the last man. or men.. to be exact. i had were sort of.. well.. too much of the romeo type who tangle their words of affection to your throat and quench your hunger for the drama.. and somehow make you lose sight of the true and the tangible.. but in the end strangle you in the neck and make you lose breath to the brink of emotional fatality.

and so.. making me realize. that. i really am not a princess.. and we weren't a fairytale.

and i guess.. it made me see. how this one seems to make me feel. well.. different. and in a way that im not used to.

and sometimes it made me wonder if that was a disadvantage or not.

but then it came to me when i actually woke up. that.. yeah. i guess its somewhat an advantage. and at the same time. a positive sign for me. why?

coz.. first of all. he IS different from them because he sees the truth. tells the truth. and although because of this he may seem less romantic. and less of a sensitive person as ive always expected the others before him. still.. it makes me sigh in relief coz.. finally. someone has come to show me that. life is never going to be perfect. im never going to be perfect. im not really the prettiest scene he will ever see. who i am is a shame in comparison to the great Cinderella. Snow White . and whoever they might be..

but in the end. he will still love me. and i guess. thats more than enough for me. because. reality IS always MORE than the fairytale. ALWAYS.

and so..

i dont wanna be mad at him anymore. for his. well. shortcomings. =p